How To Be More Romantic

Loving your partner is usually pretty easy. After all, there’s a good reason (or 50) you choose to be with them! Sometimes, however, we aren’t able to show them how important they are to us. We stumble over the right words to say, we miss out on performing some meaningful gesture, or maybe we slip and start taking them for granted. This guide will show you how to be more romantic, so both of you will want to spend more time together, and so your relationship will progress blissfully until happily ever after.

Find Some Alone Time

This may seem counter-intuitive, but the first step is to make some time for yourself. You need to get in a headspace with very few distractions, and start examining. Run through the following list of questions in your mind (it doesn’t matter if you cannot answer confidently!), spending as long as it takes before you feel you have answered the question properly.

The list

  1. Why do you want to be with your partner?
  2. What do you like most about your partner?
  3. What does your partner like most about you?
  4. What was the last nice thing you did for your partner, without them asking?
  5. What was the last nice thing they did for you, without you asking?
  6. What problems exist between you?
  7. What big things do you agree on?
  8. What small accommodations in your life could you make, that would make them happier?
  9. What small things do you think they could sacrifice in exchange?
  10. How much effort are you putting into the relationship, and is it enough?

Don’t be afraid of realising that you’re not putting in enough effort, or are the cause of any problems. For one thing, this is all happening in your head, and for another, we cannot fix the issues we deny. This is the first step to becoming more romantic – finding areas to improve on!

Going through the list can take some time, and by the time you have answered the final question, you may be hazy on your previous answers. Which is why I would recommend going through the list a second time, but this time writing down your answers – at least the things you are comfortable with. There should be plenty! All those reasons you like each other? They’re opportunities for activities! The problems you have? Things to discuss! The small things you can do for each other? Weekly goals!

Shoot For The Moon, Land Among The Stars

The 60/40 rule states that in a relationship, you should be trying to give 60% of the effort, and expect 40% back from your partner. And this goes for both people! The reason this is so much better is that there is no score-keeping! You fully expect to be getting less back than you put in, and you’re committed to putting in more than you receive. The thing is – if both parties are trying to put in 60% – the quality of the relationship can only go up! If partner A puts in 60%, then partner B puts in 60%, then actually both parties have only put in 50%, and so both have to find an extra 10%. The cycle repeats, and the amount of love and affection only goes up. This is the secret of how to be more romantic – be more romantic!

It may sound exhausting, but it’s really not. This doesn’t mean go overboard with the flowers, it means being present. Most of the effort that we forget to put in relationships is listening, being there, and being empathetic to our partners. Smooth over those insecurities, listen to their new discoveries, be the partner they fell in love with!

How to be more romantic - keep the flower budget under control!

In conclusion, try to be the partner who is giving 60% of the effort. You’ll not only get a happier, more romantic relationship, but you will also get more from it just for yourself!

Talk To Your Partner About What Is In Your Head

A relationship literally means the connection between two people. A stronger connection means a stronger relationship, so make yourselves a cup of tea, get comfy, and start talking about everything on your mind. What you are very happy with, what you want to improve, what you want from the relationship.

It doesn’t have to be all in one go, and if there’s a lot, it’s probably better not to. Even if your relationship is going perfectly, it might be a good idea to make a safe time every month, or every week, just to talk about anything that you think is important to mention (good or bad). A zone not to continue an argument, but to speak freely and to listen thoroughly.

How To Be More Romantic

So, what is the secret? As with everything, it comes down to how much you want it. The more you want it, the more effort you’ll be putting in. Just make sure you’re headed in the right direction before you press the accelerator. If you want more advice on the types of romantic actions you can take, have a look at how to hack romance. If you’re looking to default to being the romantic Casanova you dream of becoming, read up on romantic hygiene.

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