Maintaining romantic hygiene is one of the most important factors in ensuring stability in a loving relationship.
Read on to find out how to be the best partner you can be.
Romantic Hygiene is not just about washing your naughty bits (although we still recommend you do) – it is about maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. Just as sleep hygiene can help you regularly get better sleep, having good romantic hygiene can help you keep your relationship strong, and receive all the regular benefits that come from it.
Good romantic hygiene can mean feeling loved more often, better and more regular sex, less stress, more security, and the knowledge that you are doing right by your partner.
Bad romantic hygiene can leave you and your partner feeling neglected, stressed, and shaky. The worse your romantic hygiene is, the harder it is to break the cycle – but it isn’t difficult to start, and progress begets progress. So let’s dive in, head first.
Before you can make anybody else happy, first you must be happy. It’s old advice, and it is correct. This doesn’t just mean indulging yourself in video games or filling up on junk food when the craving hits. It means putting in the necessary work to become a happy, content person even when ignoring hamburger hankerings.
The first step is to be mindful. Be aware of what makes you tick, what makes you feel warm inside. I recommend keeping a diary, which fits nicely with a later tip. At the end of every day you can write down what you liked about the day, what you were grateful for. You can start finding areas of your life you wish to encourage, and areas to cut out.
I mentioned putting in the work, because nothing kills the mood quicker than fake happiness. Find what really puts your soul at ease. Likely it is something intangible, think more ‘being a part of something bigger than myself’ and less ‘getting 5 hours in front of the TV tonight’.
Which partner is easier to love – the one who comes home fuming about her commute home, or the one who stopped to pick up a small gift while the traffic eased? Changing our default mindset can have a huge impact on how others respond to us. It’s all about creating the right filters.
As the world throws things at you – information, events, disasters – let them go through your internal filters before making your own response.
In general, the world doesn’t set out to hurt us. Traffic wasn’t created to harm you as an individual – it’s made up of many likeminded people rushing home to their partners, families and hobbies. It could even be said that traffic is an act of love, although it is definitely a strange thing to say. Filtering events like this, realising what does and doesn’t actually hurt us, and what may be more beautiful than it first appears, can have a profound effect on our mood. Once it become the default way to see the world, everybody close to you will benefit from it. But you, most of all.
Hand in hand with the advice above, but spread out beyond your own mind.
Find out what brings stress into your home, and find ways to mitigate it. It could be as simple as leaving work problems at work, cleaning the kitchen before it becomes a problem, or talking about the serious issues early on so they aren’t hanging over everybody’s heads. Find the dampers to your romance, and remove them.
Sometimes stress is unavoidable – it’s just how our brains are built. There are plenty of resources to help you deal with stress, just remember it is manageable. Less anxiety means more room for romance!
You’re laying in bed, romancing your partner, giving them your full attention. All of a sudden, a second tongue is on your skin. A cold, slimy, canine tongue. Your dog wants to join the party!
Not much can kill the mood faster than distractions. Sometimes they can be laughed off, but consistent interruptions should be dealt with.
This means putting your phones on do not disturb, ensuring the pets are beyond the threshold, and getting ready to be in the mood before you begin your romantic activities.
This is the same advice you’ll find in articles about sleep hygiene, and for good reason. As human animals, we can be conditioned just as dogs and birds can. If we practice eating or watching TV in bed, then our heads will be prepared for those things when we are in bed.
If we reserve the bed (or any romantic love nest) only for cuddles, sex and sleep, we will be primed for exactly those things when we are there. This will make it much easier for romance to occur, and to stick around. It also means fewer crumbs and remotes between the sheets!
You can also practice this with time, instead of rooms. You can turn off all your electronics and tidy everything away at certain times of the day, which you’ll reserve solely for romance.
If you’re struggling for space and the bed is necessarily a multi-functional piece of furniture, you can create rituals to prime your mind and body for romance. Lighting a candle, putting on a certain playlist, or just jumping into your partner’s lap can all be good triggers for that romantic mood. The more often you do it, the easier it will be to do!
This is an obvious one, really. Body odour, bad breath, beard crumbs – these are not ideal for romance. Try to make yourself at least somewhat appealing, even if you sleep with your partner every night! Sure, they can forgive your flaws, but it’s much better to be worshipped for your strengths – so show them off!
Getting regular exercise, maintaining a proper diet, and staying hydrated will help you in this regard – but will also do great things for your more physical romantic activities!
We make this excuse to ourselves all the time – ‘I don’t have the time!’ Need to work out more? But where is the time? Want to cook from scratch more often? The day isn’t long enough! The house is getting a little messy? You just don’t have enough hours!
Yet we still find time to scroll through our newsfeeds, to watch a couple of episodes on Netflix, to share the latest gossip with our friends. While it is fine to appreciate ourselves, we should also show some appreciation for our partner. Cut down some of these activities (perhaps using the Pareto Principle), and start carving out a decent amount of time to be romantic with your partner.
This is a great tip to keep the romance going between you and your partner. Focusing on what you and your partner do for each other in such a concrete manner can help to concentrate the romance into a potency that would make Eros blush. I don’t mean keeping a sex diary, I mean taking note of every little action you do for each other. Not only will it be fun to look back at how the relationship flows over time, but reading through it can be a romantic activity in itself! Not to mention how inspiring it can be to read back through the highlights of romantic action toward each other.
The main reason this is such an effective method of good romantic hygiene is that it, too, helps to condition your mind to think romantically. Acting romantically is one thing – revisiting it in your head and writing it down reinforces the pattern. Soon you’ll be the most romantic partner without even trying!